From Child To Adult

When your child is a pre-teen, it is important to deal with issues of puberty and sexuality. With proper guidance and understanding parents can help their children make the transition

2/2/2016 2:44:40 PM
written By : Vijaya Dalvi Print

For parents, the transition of their offspring from child to teenager brings a minefield of challenges. Pre-teen parents are always apprehensive and anxious as they are the first to notice the physical and biological changes in their child.

Most children we find learn about sex from others, like friends, books, pornographic material, TV, movies, and magazines and several other sources that we may not be aware of. But the actual place for a child to learn on this subject is at home and school. When a child discusses something with his parents, it is generally not shared with anyone else. But discussion on this important subject in school becomes a hot topic among peers. A child who learns very little about sex from his parents or school tends to have a corrupt mind. But a child, who has been properly taught about reproduction/intercourse is more aware in the correct context.  Innocence is a function of attitude not information. When a pre-teenager understands the specifics of sex in a right context that it expresses love and begins new life, his innocence is saved.

BEAT THE ODD

Bear in mind that teaching facts about reproduction to a child does not rob him of innocence. At times parents feel odd to broach this subject with their children, they don’t understand when and how to begin. At such times it is better to take the help of professionals in this field, if possible. There are qualified therapists who give talks in schools and colleges and have private practices too. Don’t begin any sessions as a parent and end it like a lecture. You need to explain these things gradually over a period of time; sometimes it may take months or years too.  Information is given on an as-and-when basis. If you can’t answer a particular question, be honest, ask someone, do some research and then answer. Do not get over it by bluffing. The reaction of your child on your discussion should be respectful.

HANDLING ANXIETY

There will be lot of problems of different kinds, some you may least expect. You have to be alert to monitor, guide and intervene whenever necessary. Sometimes children feel sad, act depressed. Parents are aware something has changed. When a child goes through physical and biological changes, it affects their psyche, which leads to anxiety. Here parents need to encourage the child to face fear and not run away from it. Anxiety in children leads to negative thoughts. A child needs to be encouraged to express his anxiety. Once you have understood the child’s emotions and showed that you have identified his problems and will solve it, he feels comfortable. Parents need to stay calm as children look up to them. 

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